At the hospital

I am relieved that it is the end of the day. There were so many battles that I think I wouldn't be able to fight them alone if not for the Lord's strength and mercy. Initially, I was restless and wonder how to go through the day especially my emotion when seeing my brother. As I sat at the bench looking at my McD breakfast set, I find myself staring in the zone and wonder how he is doing. Am I prepared to meet him?

On the plane, I became more anxious and restless. I took a book out ' Living the best of life' by Joel Osten and found myself flipping to a page ' Let the Lord fights the battle for you'. I read it's entry and relieved to know that I am not alone and He is with me all the time. The scripture from 2 Chronicle 36: 1-8 shows how much God is in control. I find that I am walking in greater faith and loving Him even more.

Yes, there were many battles today but the Lord is good. I can see how great His love is especially He placed BK and GL with me to comfort me. I am really grateful and thankful that there was BK willingly to fetch me from the airport and find her so sweet and thoughtful. She had the time to bring fruits for my brother and cookies for me. GL was very accommodating in terms of transportation. Without his offer lift home, I would not think I would be in the correct state of mind to drive around KK (after being away and having arrived from KK recently) and possibly end up somewhere else. Thanks G for the lunch!

As I stepped into the hospital and in the haemotology ward, the first time I saw my brother on the bed, the sight of it...he looks so bad yet he look handsome and well built. For first few moments, he was really happy to see me but after that he felt guilty and sad over not being able to make pizza for me. I held my tears and gave him reassurance that we all being together and united during CNY is more important. CNY is not about its tradition, ritual, beliefs but being together is. I am here to support him.

Staying in the ward , just three hours, finally realized it's not an easy job. The constant care and attention to a patient drains my energy but I try not to focus on that. It won't be long that everything gets better and I will be able to see him smile again. That's all that matters to me despite of the tiredness. It's not easy job because have to constantly be aware of the needs, desires and emotion of the patient. I noticed that one needs so much help of hand when bedridden. I now respect the nurses and doctors in the hospital for their hard work.

to be continue... (sleepy)~~

signing off from KK..